Post by thegeneralissimo on Feb 28, 2024 7:11:32 GMT
“I pledge allegiance
To the flag
Of United Monster Freedom
And to the dictatorship for which it stands
One nation
Under Dale
Indivisible
With liberty
and justice
FOR US
RAISE HELL
PRAISE DALE
AMEN.”
There he stood, in all of his majestic glory. The uniter of all things monsters, the unifier, the leader, the friend, the compatriot, our glorious leader. He was stunning, his pristine military dress uniform, his delicately permed hair, the fuzzy little caterpillar on his lip that caused him to be dashingly handsome, the medals of honor from battles and wars fought across his chest. Thirty seven Dale pins the man had collected. And now, we’d all finally hear the plan for thirty-eight.
What?
Yeah, I said we.
You didn’t know narrators were monsters? Stop and think about it, we know all of these intrusive things, we read all of these peoples minds, and sometimes we choose to hide information from you for whatever god awful reason we can come up. We’re terrible beings. Is a mind flayer a monster? Of course a brain sucking demon is a monster, and we’re pretty fucking close to them. Anyway, this meeting is also for me.
I digress.
The Generalissimo stood in that room in front of his glorious battalion of monsters. Even Lord Kurosame-sama sat waiting to hear the plan. The Generalissimo’s right hand was always involved, and beside him sat a mysterious birdman. I’ll always be referring to him as a mysterious birdman by the way. We don’t know if it’s always the same one, I mean we kind of think so, but if you’ve seen this giant turkey man you’ll understand that they all kind of look the same. But I really hope they all aren’t as god damn creepy as this one.
Anyway, a mysterious birdman sat beside Lord Kurosame-sama. Beside him The Beasts of Tokyo, and behind them ‘The Hippo of The Deathmatch’ Rory Hayes stood beside The Crimson Miracle Bloody Blood Death Homicycle. The small bicycle with the horn wore giant antlers and had many black and red streamers attatched for its kills.
See look, I just hid something from you. I’m absolutely a monster.
The Big Blue Bug and ‘Rhino Horn’ Shinji Komiya stood guard at the door. The Generalissimo finally stops saluting the ‘Raise Hell, Praise Dale’ emblazoned number 3 flag and turns towards the armed forces of the Monster Menagerie.
Where am I? Well I’m in the corner, but I get to be invisible like a spooky ghost. Another point in the monster column.
“Friends.” The Generalissimo says with all the sincerity in the world. Garry’s been there for all of us, through thick and thin. He helped Lord Kurosame-sama stand up for himself, he made the homicycle more terrifying, he saved Shinji from throwing ice bags at beaten wrestlers, and he made sure Big Blue Bug still has a job. That last one is probably his biggest achievement.
“Colleagues.” We’ve had good times and bad times. The Generalissimo capturing his first championship and uniting monster kind under the banner of the Menagerie was incredible. Finding all of us a place to live where we wouldn’t be discriminated against, finding us a land that only our wildest dreams could imagine. We’ve done incredible work here in [REDACTED]LAND.
“Fellow monsters.” The Generalissimo himself, was persecuted and hated for his monstrous wrestling style, and gaudy appearance and trappings. He wrestled in overalls dedicated to a country that had failed him, and all of his kind, he danced his way to the ring like a beleaguered dirt farmer during the dust bowl who finally found himself his first dollar. And they heckled and belittled him for it.
“Dale has spoken to me.” A soft murmur goes up from the crowd, the two women dressed like dinosaurs begin to murmur into each others ears, The Crimson Miracle Bloody Blood Death Homicycle looks at Rory absolutely shocked, Shinji just really wants to go home and kind of has to pee, but The Big Blue Bug is awestruck. Lord Kurosame-sama and a mysterious birdman both lean forward in their chairs, anxious for the proclamation to come.
“Our war in BANG! Pro Wrestling has been a success.” The murmurs grow, some non-believers had spread word of The Generalissimo’s weakness since losing the [REDACTED]LAND Kaiju Deathmatch in January, and many awaited to see where The Generalissimo would lead us next.
“We will continue the war in BANG! PRAISE BE HIM!” The seven people in the room begin clapping, and The Homicycle definitely wishes it could clap, but it can’t because it’s a bicycle, and It’s actually probably thinking of murdering Shinji right now. Poor Shinji. Anyway.
“But Dale, that old Intimidator. He asks his children for more.” The Generalissimo pauses, and The Menagerie eagerly awaits their leader’s next words.
“And I will give him more.”
The words drip with the venom of a thousand basilisks. The Generalissimo spins, his cape rustling through the air and turns on the overhead projector.
“The National Pro Wrestling Association.” As the screen flickers to life and the company's logo is emblazoned across the screen. The Generalissimo points at the logo.
“They have requested The Generalissimo to prepare himself to become draft eligible… and I have agreed.” Lord Kurosame-sama begins clapping his fins.
“I have agreed to spread our message far and wide. To fight for monsters across the world.” The words hung in the air as The Generalissimo smirks.
“I will bear this weight for us my friends, I will carry the torch and light the way, and when I am finished. The National Pro Wrestling Association will be a home for all monsters. [REDACTED]LAND WILL RISE! WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED!” The smirk slowly turns into a snarl.
“And we will not be stopped.”
To the flag
Of United Monster Freedom
And to the dictatorship for which it stands
One nation
Under Dale
Indivisible
With liberty
and justice
FOR US
RAISE HELL
PRAISE DALE
AMEN.”
There he stood, in all of his majestic glory. The uniter of all things monsters, the unifier, the leader, the friend, the compatriot, our glorious leader. He was stunning, his pristine military dress uniform, his delicately permed hair, the fuzzy little caterpillar on his lip that caused him to be dashingly handsome, the medals of honor from battles and wars fought across his chest. Thirty seven Dale pins the man had collected. And now, we’d all finally hear the plan for thirty-eight.
What?
Yeah, I said we.
You didn’t know narrators were monsters? Stop and think about it, we know all of these intrusive things, we read all of these peoples minds, and sometimes we choose to hide information from you for whatever god awful reason we can come up. We’re terrible beings. Is a mind flayer a monster? Of course a brain sucking demon is a monster, and we’re pretty fucking close to them. Anyway, this meeting is also for me.
I digress.
The Generalissimo stood in that room in front of his glorious battalion of monsters. Even Lord Kurosame-sama sat waiting to hear the plan. The Generalissimo’s right hand was always involved, and beside him sat a mysterious birdman. I’ll always be referring to him as a mysterious birdman by the way. We don’t know if it’s always the same one, I mean we kind of think so, but if you’ve seen this giant turkey man you’ll understand that they all kind of look the same. But I really hope they all aren’t as god damn creepy as this one.
Anyway, a mysterious birdman sat beside Lord Kurosame-sama. Beside him The Beasts of Tokyo, and behind them ‘The Hippo of The Deathmatch’ Rory Hayes stood beside The Crimson Miracle Bloody Blood Death Homicycle. The small bicycle with the horn wore giant antlers and had many black and red streamers attatched for its kills.
See look, I just hid something from you. I’m absolutely a monster.
The Big Blue Bug and ‘Rhino Horn’ Shinji Komiya stood guard at the door. The Generalissimo finally stops saluting the ‘Raise Hell, Praise Dale’ emblazoned number 3 flag and turns towards the armed forces of the Monster Menagerie.
Where am I? Well I’m in the corner, but I get to be invisible like a spooky ghost. Another point in the monster column.
“Friends.” The Generalissimo says with all the sincerity in the world. Garry’s been there for all of us, through thick and thin. He helped Lord Kurosame-sama stand up for himself, he made the homicycle more terrifying, he saved Shinji from throwing ice bags at beaten wrestlers, and he made sure Big Blue Bug still has a job. That last one is probably his biggest achievement.
“Colleagues.” We’ve had good times and bad times. The Generalissimo capturing his first championship and uniting monster kind under the banner of the Menagerie was incredible. Finding all of us a place to live where we wouldn’t be discriminated against, finding us a land that only our wildest dreams could imagine. We’ve done incredible work here in [REDACTED]LAND.
“Fellow monsters.” The Generalissimo himself, was persecuted and hated for his monstrous wrestling style, and gaudy appearance and trappings. He wrestled in overalls dedicated to a country that had failed him, and all of his kind, he danced his way to the ring like a beleaguered dirt farmer during the dust bowl who finally found himself his first dollar. And they heckled and belittled him for it.
“Dale has spoken to me.” A soft murmur goes up from the crowd, the two women dressed like dinosaurs begin to murmur into each others ears, The Crimson Miracle Bloody Blood Death Homicycle looks at Rory absolutely shocked, Shinji just really wants to go home and kind of has to pee, but The Big Blue Bug is awestruck. Lord Kurosame-sama and a mysterious birdman both lean forward in their chairs, anxious for the proclamation to come.
“Our war in BANG! Pro Wrestling has been a success.” The murmurs grow, some non-believers had spread word of The Generalissimo’s weakness since losing the [REDACTED]LAND Kaiju Deathmatch in January, and many awaited to see where The Generalissimo would lead us next.
“We will continue the war in BANG! PRAISE BE HIM!” The seven people in the room begin clapping, and The Homicycle definitely wishes it could clap, but it can’t because it’s a bicycle, and It’s actually probably thinking of murdering Shinji right now. Poor Shinji. Anyway.
“But Dale, that old Intimidator. He asks his children for more.” The Generalissimo pauses, and The Menagerie eagerly awaits their leader’s next words.
“And I will give him more.”
The words drip with the venom of a thousand basilisks. The Generalissimo spins, his cape rustling through the air and turns on the overhead projector.
“The National Pro Wrestling Association.” As the screen flickers to life and the company's logo is emblazoned across the screen. The Generalissimo points at the logo.
“They have requested The Generalissimo to prepare himself to become draft eligible… and I have agreed.” Lord Kurosame-sama begins clapping his fins.
“I have agreed to spread our message far and wide. To fight for monsters across the world.” The words hung in the air as The Generalissimo smirks.
“I will bear this weight for us my friends, I will carry the torch and light the way, and when I am finished. The National Pro Wrestling Association will be a home for all monsters. [REDACTED]LAND WILL RISE! WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED!” The smirk slowly turns into a snarl.
“And we will not be stopped.”