Post by slamsleymcbody on May 12, 2024 9:01:31 GMT
This pre-season has been pretty peculiar for “Da Drab Bod Doomsman” Slamsley Addergoole McBody, Junior. He put more emphasis on knocking ring rust than batter swing kinesiology. Most of his career saw our boy Slams act as a two-sport athlete. Second-generation grappler and cellar-ranked amateur Kendo Stickball player. Despite finite flashes of brilliance, the only significant strike Mister McBody has done career-wise is out. Last year elsewhere proved a turnaround for the spry “Original Vanilla Shilla.” Dude talked tough, found confidence to compete, and intended to glom someone else’s gold. Before he could gain genuine glory, however, that grappling group folded.
Lesser lads resign toward resentful retirement. Not Slamsley. Detractors might call him “Da Son Who Couldn’t Get It Done,” but history got etched February 29th, 2024. What happened on such an auspicious occasion? Slamuel Addergoole McBody, Senior’s firstborn became NPWA’s seventeenth signee. More than before, this valiant veteran possesses professional purpose. What exactly? Achieve getting over, work understandable underestimation, and shoot past limitations.
Tonight’s promotional stream opens on an impromptu interview. Conversation cues indicate our approximate location as a private Chicago athletic complex. Additionally, Jermaine Jamison’s (the quick-quipped questioner) tone comes across nervous. His subject keeps fumbling a keycard. McBody maintains his calm under pressure demeanor throughout.
Jermaine Jamison: I don’t know about this, Slamsley. Shouldn’t we be filming your interview on a soundstage? Studio apartment? The Roosevelt University Auditorium Theatre? Somewhere that has attention to acoustics. Better yet, what time is it? We could swing by Willie’s on Halstead. I read in a social media post way back that you challenged someone to a charity Chicken & Waffles chowdown? At least it’s well lit here.
Slamsley McBody: It’s geranium made to dese proceedin’s, Jamison. “Da Drab Bod Doomsman” wants every plaintiff knowin’ which playin’ field he’s practicin’ on. As for time? Da moon’s position tells me it’s one some-tin’. If dis interview wraps up quick enough, den we can totally nosh at Willie’s. I also won dat charity chowdown on account da chump no-sold/no-showed. Still regret not bein’ able to put his championship into my evidence locker.
Geranium made. Playin’ field. I’m gonna plant my palooka plodders on da primary podium pedestal come May 19. Can’t be snapmare subtle or neckbreaker nuanced. N’ain’t nobody gonna anatomy class dissect dis dude, broseph. My braised-boned build might get bruised. However, for guilty grapplers determined on cuttin’ dis gamey galoot deep…know dis. Attempts at hookin’ my guillotine-grade gams will look like you’re runnin’ ropes wit safety scissors.
Jermaine Jamison: Sounds awfully ambitious, McBody. Are you stating at this late hour that you intend on winning the NPWA Pre-Season Rumble? How can you be so confident when you were picked 35th in the Draft? And for a follow-up, why did you add “Penultimate Pick” as a moniker?
Slamsley McBody: I’ve Seward’s Folly claimed a lot since joinin’ da National Pro Wrestlin’ Association. Predicted I’d be number one in eliminations, Onyx Busfin’s “first step,” could go bell-to-bell wit-out gettin’ gassed on April Fools’ Day, and dat da closest my Season Opener opponent Wonder has to pinnin’ me down is wrappin’ herself in a company crafted quilt. Believe it’s still in stock at da NPWA Storefront. Same goes for my surprisin’-ly accurate action figure. Eit-er could make for long-lastin’, last-minute Mom’s Day presents if she’s a fan of “Da Big Man wit His Brain Downstairs.” Dat royalty checks out, right, Jermaine?
Jermaine Jamison: Only if said fans have merch on their minds, Slams. To clarify on those prediction examples..they’re from previous posts on an “alternative audience attention-averting app?”
Slamsley McBody: Yes. Dey’re rhetoric reps from a tongue-tied, run-off-da-treadmill tussler. Abundant absurdist appeal. I oblige optional obliteration. None of my opponents share dat ominous outlook. Lewis Chad Pinkston, Heat-er Harland, Ollie Maverick, Valkyrie, Adam Garcia, Sean Parker, Nate Bonhagen, Yuri Ulyanov, Benjamin Busfin-Carter, his aforementioned sister Onyx, and more announced by event airin’. I’m plenty prepared for premeditated pummelin’s from any of dem. Dat’s why I read dat clause from da NPWA Life Insurance Policy. Still, “Da Drab Bod Doomsman” shall deliver deliberate, deft deterrents while chaos churns. He’s also tossin’ out at least one case lackin’ strong evidence when enterin’ da courtroom. Muck-ups better make sure dey stream da Rumble to find out who and how many.
Lesser lads resign toward resentful retirement. Not Slamsley. Detractors might call him “Da Son Who Couldn’t Get It Done,” but history got etched February 29th, 2024. What happened on such an auspicious occasion? Slamuel Addergoole McBody, Senior’s firstborn became NPWA’s seventeenth signee. More than before, this valiant veteran possesses professional purpose. What exactly? Achieve getting over, work understandable underestimation, and shoot past limitations.
Tonight’s promotional stream opens on an impromptu interview. Conversation cues indicate our approximate location as a private Chicago athletic complex. Additionally, Jermaine Jamison’s (the quick-quipped questioner) tone comes across nervous. His subject keeps fumbling a keycard. McBody maintains his calm under pressure demeanor throughout.
Jermaine Jamison: I don’t know about this, Slamsley. Shouldn’t we be filming your interview on a soundstage? Studio apartment? The Roosevelt University Auditorium Theatre? Somewhere that has attention to acoustics. Better yet, what time is it? We could swing by Willie’s on Halstead. I read in a social media post way back that you challenged someone to a charity Chicken & Waffles chowdown? At least it’s well lit here.
Slamsley McBody: It’s geranium made to dese proceedin’s, Jamison. “Da Drab Bod Doomsman” wants every plaintiff knowin’ which playin’ field he’s practicin’ on. As for time? Da moon’s position tells me it’s one some-tin’. If dis interview wraps up quick enough, den we can totally nosh at Willie’s. I also won dat charity chowdown on account da chump no-sold/no-showed. Still regret not bein’ able to put his championship into my evidence locker.
Geranium made. Playin’ field. I’m gonna plant my palooka plodders on da primary podium pedestal come May 19. Can’t be snapmare subtle or neckbreaker nuanced. N’ain’t nobody gonna anatomy class dissect dis dude, broseph. My braised-boned build might get bruised. However, for guilty grapplers determined on cuttin’ dis gamey galoot deep…know dis. Attempts at hookin’ my guillotine-grade gams will look like you’re runnin’ ropes wit safety scissors.
Jermaine Jamison: Sounds awfully ambitious, McBody. Are you stating at this late hour that you intend on winning the NPWA Pre-Season Rumble? How can you be so confident when you were picked 35th in the Draft? And for a follow-up, why did you add “Penultimate Pick” as a moniker?
Slamsley McBody: I’ve Seward’s Folly claimed a lot since joinin’ da National Pro Wrestlin’ Association. Predicted I’d be number one in eliminations, Onyx Busfin’s “first step,” could go bell-to-bell wit-out gettin’ gassed on April Fools’ Day, and dat da closest my Season Opener opponent Wonder has to pinnin’ me down is wrappin’ herself in a company crafted quilt. Believe it’s still in stock at da NPWA Storefront. Same goes for my surprisin’-ly accurate action figure. Eit-er could make for long-lastin’, last-minute Mom’s Day presents if she’s a fan of “Da Big Man wit His Brain Downstairs.” Dat royalty checks out, right, Jermaine?
Jermaine Jamison: Only if said fans have merch on their minds, Slams. To clarify on those prediction examples..they’re from previous posts on an “alternative audience attention-averting app?”
Slamsley McBody: Yes. Dey’re rhetoric reps from a tongue-tied, run-off-da-treadmill tussler. Abundant absurdist appeal. I oblige optional obliteration. None of my opponents share dat ominous outlook. Lewis Chad Pinkston, Heat-er Harland, Ollie Maverick, Valkyrie, Adam Garcia, Sean Parker, Nate Bonhagen, Yuri Ulyanov, Benjamin Busfin-Carter, his aforementioned sister Onyx, and more announced by event airin’. I’m plenty prepared for premeditated pummelin’s from any of dem. Dat’s why I read dat clause from da NPWA Life Insurance Policy. Still, “Da Drab Bod Doomsman” shall deliver deliberate, deft deterrents while chaos churns. He’s also tossin’ out at least one case lackin’ strong evidence when enterin’ da courtroom. Muck-ups better make sure dey stream da Rumble to find out who and how many.