Post by Kyle Reed on Mar 16, 2024 22:05:17 GMT
"Kyle, wake the heck up!" young Alex called out to her mentor, who seemed to be practically comatose at this point in time. But undeterred, she grabbed her phone and found the most annoying sound in the world.
-And I will tryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, to fix youuuuuuuuuuu-
The only thing revealing that he wasn’t dead was his hand moving towards the phone and ensuring it was muted as fast as physically possible. Ever so slowly a dead man rose again, and then he collapsed back into a human shaped noodle on the couch. "It’s too early for this type of hardcore torture, Alex.” he’d say, an oversized yawn escaping his system, the offensively green and yellow bucket hat falling off his face in the process.
Messing around with her phone, it was the only way for Alex to even be able to sit still as she pushed her butt into the legs of her mentor and forced him to give her some space, taking a few minutes of tapping filled silence before one of the two stirred again.
"And why is it you broke into my house at… I don’t know what time?” Kyle would ask as his fingers awkwardly fumbled around on the floor in an attempt to blindly regain his bucket hat, still not bothering to open his eyes.
"Oh, right, I forgot. You totally missed the draft, dude, it was like… the hypest shit ever, except I guess the part where you weren’t picked, but I guess that makes you like the hottest free agent in the business or something, but anyways, I wanted to tell you that you probably slept through a phonecall again… I know because I called you like four times, before I climbed up the drainpipe and slithered through your bathroom window to get in…” Alex blasted an absolute inordinate amount of information at her exhausted mentor, without even taking her time to process what she was going to say or make an attempt at structuring it in a sensible way.
But the time she took to blather about the draft at least gave Kyle Reed the chance to finally give up on sleep and push himself into a seated position, having given up on finding the bucket hat and instead reaching for a can of flat Monster™ in the hopes that it would solve his chronic exhaustion, even if it meant furthering his chronic insomnia.
"The draft… yeah, ok. I remember sitting here and then, well, I probably fell asleep or something because all I remember is you torturing me with Coldplay and ruining the sweet release of infinity I was stuck in.” he’d yawn deeply, feeling his muscles weaken again and his body ready to fall back into that aforementioned infinity.
Perhaps unfortunately, Alexandra notices and makes sure to pinch his arm extra hard to the point of him yowling and rubbing his arm in confusion. "What the hell was that for?”
"Cause you were trying to fall asleep again, and I wasn’t done yet. I might have signed myself up to NPWA too, since you were practically dead anyways, and I guess you wouldn’t have minded, right?”
If Kyle was surprised, it was hard to tell from his exhausted features. "And why, Alex, did you think that was a good idea?” he wondered. "How long did you even think about it, you’ve never wrestled an actual match before.” he’d add, in dry exhaustion.
She’d look up from behind her phone, her hyperactive mind trying its best to calculate it in real time. "Erm… Maybe… uh… I kinda just did it?” she’d say, admitting she did zero thinking on the choice. "But what’s the point, you also have never had a wrestling match before, you’ve only done that… Jiu Jitsu stuff, and pretty sure you lost every time it mattered because you couldn’t stay awake.”
"We’re not talking about me right now, don’t change the subject, young lady.” he’d deflect, almost as if he did such a thing on a daily basis.
"Anyways, I got a call that we got onto the roster anyways, they said something about scraping a barrel, no idea what that even means. But anyways, they gave us a match, and it’s for the title too! It’s called… erm… tables, ladders and chairs?” she’d reveal, starting to bounce a little from excitement, like a puppy who hadn’t learned to manage their energy yet.
"Right… I’d have preferred it to be tables, ladders, chairs, and a bed. But I guess we should thank our luck that we somehow got signed anyways. What team do we have to face?” he’d ask, once more starting to yawn, but this time avoiding the pinch and instead throwing the empty can onto the pile of other empty cans, and grabbing a new one and popping it open with a heavenly hiss and whiff of sugary battery acid.
If anything was going to keep him alive, it was another gulp of teeth melting sweetness.
"Teams, plural, actually. Apparently we got to face some super heroes, so that sounds super cool. And some dudes named Generation Force, I think they might be basketball players… Or goalkeepers, they are pretty tall, so I bet they are good at jumping? Oh, and then there are two Irish dudes named Malachi and Lachlan Kane, and lemme tell you, you could shred cheese on their abs, and it’s not the only thing I’d shred on those abs either…” she’d trail off a little bit, and her fingers started working the keyboard of the telephone to find what could certifiably be called “Thirst traps” to give Kyle an idea.
"Right, right, right. Irish dudes, football goalies, and superheroes… Sounds like a night at the pub, I guess. Any more, or is that it? Sounds to me they’re out of ideas already and throwing every team into a singular match just to avoid booking more matches?” he’d question, having regained enough energy to get up to his feet… The sound of cans being crushed underneath him leading him towards the kitchen.
"Also, you want some grilled cheese? That talk about grated cheese got me hungry.” he’d say, activating the panini grill and rummaging through the fridge trying to find whatever is still edible.
"Oh, yeah, there’s one more team, the Busfins. They’re siblings I think, kinda like us, right?”
A thud could be heard as Kyle hits his head on the top of the fridge as he tries to lean over. "We’re not siblings, Alex. The only relation between us is me being a hostage to you after you showed up at my door and demanded me to train you in wrestling… despite me having never wrestled a match in my life.” he’d call out through the apartment.
"Also what’s with these Busfins, then? Racing drivers, or are they ninjas?” he’d ask derisively, assuming he was the only serious wrestler in this team.
"They’re basically two extremely talented people who are basically made for the sport and will probably annihilate all of us in a massive display of power… You know, the usual. But man, that Onyx is built like a freaking goddess… And Ben can probably bench press the ring whilst everyone is standing in it.” she’d pose, her mind already trying to picture such a situation in vivid detail.
It gave Kyle a chance to make dinner, or breakfast, or whatever meal was appropriate at the time of hour that he hadn’t bothered to check when he got woken up. Instead he came back into the living room with two grilled sandwiches and placed them on the table, Alex being quick to steal one off the plate for herself as she gnawed on it like a hamster on pep pills.
"Well, ok, you could’ve like… told me you wanted one too, I would’ve made extra.” he’d tiredly said as he stretched the sandwich apart and twirled a finger around the cheese stretch to avoid making a mess of the can filled floor. "Also, I guess we gotta do a toast or something, to getting bench pressed by a bunch of ninjas, superheroes, Irish dudes, and those other people, yeah?”
Raising the first non empty can he could grab, Alex grabbed another and they clinked them together.
"Freaking, bet. Boss. This shit’s going to be so freaking awesome!” Alex spoke with a genuine look of happiness, as at least one of the two was excited about living their wrestling dream…
Enjoy this shit, there’s going to be a lot more in the future.