We catch up with The Delivery Girl at Panera Bread, where she’s waiting for her customer’s order to be given to her so she may deliver it. She furiously rings the bell and motions for them to hurry up.
“Wasting daylight, here. Let’s go. Let’s go. Move it!”
One employee removes the bell and shoots The Delivery Girl a stink face. NPWA’s new signee rolls her eyes at the worker and then turns her attention to the camera.
“I don’t have much time to talk even with these slow pokes working at the speed of sloth, so let’s get to the brass tax.”
She slaps her hand on the counter for emphasis's sake.
“I’m looking to get drafted high on the list because it’d be really cool to get an honor like that. I’m not gonna blow smoke up your butts, Mr. Black and Mr. Holmes, I’m not like Maya Misako who hopes to be a walking trophy. That’s some trophy wife stuff that belongs on a Soap Opera or an episode of Real Celebrity Housewife. I’m not here to be a trophy. I’m here to
deliver YOU a season championship trophy. The biggest trophy when all the smoke is settled. I’m also not fool-hearted like Onyx Bullshitting. I’m not the best or better than the best; I’m a rookie. Under your guidance, Mr. Black or Mr. Holmes, I can be the best, though.”
One of the workers returns and slides the order to The Delivery Girl. She inspects it as any diligent and professional delivery girl would do and finds something wrong with it. After some slapping on the counter and exchanging words, they get busy correcting the issue.
“So, it’s probably best to address each of you individually real quick. Mr. Black, we synergize. You didn’t let your vertical challenge status keep you from attaining greatness. You used it as fuel. If you pick me, I’ll be behind some of the pack because I’m a rookie and also have some delivery obligations to Master Bezos, but just like you did with your height issues, I’ll find a way. You are ‘the lost boy’ but I’m the best at never getting lost. That’s some peanut butter and jelly stuff right there.”
She thumbs up and winks.
“And Mr. Holmes. You molded your daughter Serenity into a wrecking force and you’ve done similarly to Amber Mansly. I’d love to pick your brain and be a sponge to any wisdom you wanna depart if you draft me into your conference.”
The worker returns and rudely shoves the items across to her. The Delivery Girl shrugs it off, she doesn’t have time for their crap. Scooping up the items, the Delivery Girl makes a quick jaunt toward the doors while finishing up her pitch to the two commissioners.
“To sweeten the pot for a higher draft spot, how about this. I’m in good with Master Bezos, so the higher you draft me the more percentage you will get off any purchases you make through Master Bezos owned businesses, which are sooooo many. If you draft me #1 then you get 100% off. If you draft me #10 you will get 50% off. You get the drift. Or if you want to, let the fans decide. Just follow the interactive poll attached to this vignette. Let’s see whose conference the fans want to see me delivering ass whoopings for.”
Link here:
npwaefed.proboards.com/thread/44/poll-which-commish-draft-delivery?page=1&scrollTo=51She piles into her classic muscle car, a late 70s black and gold Trans Am, and peels out of the lot en route to her next delivery. Smokey and the Bandit style.
End
OOC: Feel free to vote in the poll attached to this.
Had to do it in another post cause this thread doesn't allow polls.
Had to do it in another post cause this thread doesn't allow polls. 