Post by Jessie Lee on Jun 23, 2024 19:52:01 GMT
'EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY YO!
N!
P!
W!
A!
It's FINALLY fuckin' time for the most anticipated professional wrestlin' promotion of Twenty Twenty-fou to strike the match of competition an' LIGHT the carni-as-fuck business on FIRE. Sure, ya been tested with a few throwaway tag matches an' even witnessed a bunch of desperate goobers tear each other apart durin' a preseason rumble! But now? Now it's time for the REAL DEAL when it comes to heart-pounding blood-curdling violence and unparalleled enter-fuckin'-tainment!
So make sure your buckles are nice an' secure 'cause it's about to get fuckin' WILD.
Now, before I get into the juicy bits you've all tuned in for there are a few things I gotta get off my chest.
First an' foremost, I'm gonna keep it one hundred an' tell ya the levels of excitement I feel about this lil experiment is second to none. 'Cause for YEARS I have done my best to be THE BISH that companies rely on for their annual televised bloodsport. Week in an' week out; month after fuckin' MONTH I have bled, cried, an' pushed myself to the brink more times than I can count only to get shoved aside because I wasn't THEIR PICK. I WASN'T what they wanted 'though I have MORE PERSONALITY than the rest of their bloody roster. I have REDEFINED championship divisions an' I have FORCED the competitors in those divisions to FINALLY EVEL THE FUCK UP to make the product WORTH WATCHING.an' I'm going to continue doing so as long as I draw breath.
'Cause somebody's gotta, right?
Now that's outta the way let's get to the good bits.
See, could come out here and put down Savage an' Veni-benny. I could concoct ALL the stupidly silly jokes that are meant to demean and bring about some emotional damage, but considering how long those boys have been in the business and STILL haven't become the stars they thought they'd be is somethin' I think is MORE insulting than anything I could think of. I mean, to them I'm just the upstart emo girl that shops at hot topic...or whatever passes for e lackluster juvenile jokes, which I've already a dozen times with increasingly poorer delivery. But I'll take the stereotypical bullshit over perpetually scratching the bottom of the barrel.to maintain careers that should've realistically in twenty-nineteen.
For fuck's sake Frank, you were given panic attacks by a dude that talks in half-baked memes! YOU! Frank Patrick Venerable! The man that so fuckinh' pretentious that almost impressive as it is sickening! What happened to all that hot shit you were saying at the beginning of the year when we were heading into that huge fuckin' clusterfuck of a deathmatch that, to my knowledge, never fuckin' happened? Hm? Where was all that overconfident bullshit when you were swimming around the bottom of the barrel in XWF? Where was the uber-confident cocksucker that KNEW what it was like to be a world champion who, n no uncertain terms, cried that I'd never amount to shit?
Honestly, I couldn't give a shit 'bout Tony.
Nothing against the man, but Frank's just like the arrogant pricks that love doin' everything they can to hold me the fuck down. Call me a childish petty cunt, but guys like him deserve to be buried under the mountain o mediocrity they fuckin' ooze outta every bloody pore.
N!
P!
W!
A!
It's FINALLY fuckin' time for the most anticipated professional wrestlin' promotion of Twenty Twenty-fou to strike the match of competition an' LIGHT the carni-as-fuck business on FIRE. Sure, ya been tested with a few throwaway tag matches an' even witnessed a bunch of desperate goobers tear each other apart durin' a preseason rumble! But now? Now it's time for the REAL DEAL when it comes to heart-pounding blood-curdling violence and unparalleled enter-fuckin'-tainment!
So make sure your buckles are nice an' secure 'cause it's about to get fuckin' WILD.
Now, before I get into the juicy bits you've all tuned in for there are a few things I gotta get off my chest.
First an' foremost, I'm gonna keep it one hundred an' tell ya the levels of excitement I feel about this lil experiment is second to none. 'Cause for YEARS I have done my best to be THE BISH that companies rely on for their annual televised bloodsport. Week in an' week out; month after fuckin' MONTH I have bled, cried, an' pushed myself to the brink more times than I can count only to get shoved aside because I wasn't THEIR PICK. I WASN'T what they wanted 'though I have MORE PERSONALITY than the rest of their bloody roster. I have REDEFINED championship divisions an' I have FORCED the competitors in those divisions to FINALLY EVEL THE FUCK UP to make the product WORTH WATCHING.an' I'm going to continue doing so as long as I draw breath.
'Cause somebody's gotta, right?
Now that's outta the way let's get to the good bits.
See, could come out here and put down Savage an' Veni-benny. I could concoct ALL the stupidly silly jokes that are meant to demean and bring about some emotional damage, but considering how long those boys have been in the business and STILL haven't become the stars they thought they'd be is somethin' I think is MORE insulting than anything I could think of. I mean, to them I'm just the upstart emo girl that shops at hot topic...or whatever passes for e lackluster juvenile jokes, which I've already a dozen times with increasingly poorer delivery. But I'll take the stereotypical bullshit over perpetually scratching the bottom of the barrel.to maintain careers that should've realistically in twenty-nineteen.
For fuck's sake Frank, you were given panic attacks by a dude that talks in half-baked memes! YOU! Frank Patrick Venerable! The man that so fuckinh' pretentious that almost impressive as it is sickening! What happened to all that hot shit you were saying at the beginning of the year when we were heading into that huge fuckin' clusterfuck of a deathmatch that, to my knowledge, never fuckin' happened? Hm? Where was all that overconfident bullshit when you were swimming around the bottom of the barrel in XWF? Where was the uber-confident cocksucker that KNEW what it was like to be a world champion who, n no uncertain terms, cried that I'd never amount to shit?
Honestly, I couldn't give a shit 'bout Tony.
Nothing against the man, but Frank's just like the arrogant pricks that love doin' everything they can to hold me the fuck down. Call me a childish petty cunt, but guys like him deserve to be buried under the mountain o mediocrity they fuckin' ooze outta every bloody pore.